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Friday, 11 July 2014

Nearly There Now - More World Cup Spoofery


FRI 4th July
France 0-1 Germany (Prediction 2-2, Germany on penalties)
Brazil 2-1 Colombia (Prediction 1-1 at full time, Colombia on penalties)
Missed first game due to sister getting married (very selfish of her) but snuck away from the dancefloor long enough to catch Brazil kick Colombia and Rodriguez off the pitch, a tactic that led to Colombian players losing their rag and ultimately Neymar getting a fractured vertebrae from a reckless challenge. Brazil promptly went into mourning.

SAT 5th July
Argentina 1-0 Belgium (Prediction 0-0, Argentina to win in extra time)
Netherlands 0-0 Costa Rica (aet) Netherlands through on penalties (Prediction 2-0)
Higuain finally contributed to this World Cup with a great finish from outside the box early on but the game was ultimately a dud, very surprised that Belgium didn't have a right go until the very end and Januzaj didn't come on to get some pace into the team after Hazard came off after another poor performance. Wilmots was very disparaging about Argentina afterwards but typically he should have been looking at himself and his tactics.
Costa Rica went out unbeaten (just saying) in very Krul fashion when bizarrely van Gaal threw Krul on for Cillessen at the end of extra time to face the penalties in the shootout. It ultimately worked as Tim Krul proceeded to act like a complete berk talking shite at every player stepping up to take a penalty and ended up saving two. Van Gaal was immediately called a genius but as I said before these kind of moves seem to be lucky rather clever, so watching him at United next season will at least be interesting.

TUES 8th July
Brazil 1-7 Germany (Prediction 0-0, Germany on penalties)
One of the strangest games of football I've seen in a good while, Brazil were even more undisciplined than usual with their two best players missing and got clinically carved apart, conceding four goals in roughly six minutes in the first half. Klose became the top scorer in World Cup finals history with his goal. Germany at least eased up in the second half but Schurrle came on and bagged a brace just to rub it in. Oscar grabbed the solitary goal for Brazil just before injury time much to the disgust of Neuer.

WEDS 9th July
Argentina 0-0 Netherlands (aet) Argentina through on penalties (Prediction 0-0, Argentina to win in extra time)
Absolute bag of shite of a game with neither side wanting to have a go, which means Argentina go into the final without ever really showing much in any of the games so far, having the world's best player helps sure, but would be absolutely amazing if they can win the World Cup in Brazil of all places playing such drudge.

Predictions
Sat 12th July - THIRD PLACE PLAYOFF
Netherlands 3-1 Brazil
This could come down to who kicks each other the hardest, Brazil will try and restore some pride but think Netherlands might be too good for them.

Sun 13th July - FINAL
Argentina 0-1 Germany
Messi might fancy his chances playing balls in past Germany's defensive high line but think Germany should have just enough to win, considering most of Argentina's players are patched together and struggling for fitness, we'll see.